NEW STORY

beatrice.okon@facebook.com+++LOVE AND HATE+++
***PROLOGUE***
‘Love’
I think only silly
people fall in ‘love’, and
thank God, I’m not one
of them. Well, it’s not
like I can blame them
anyway. It’s not like
they have a choice, you
know?—to fall or not
to
fall in love. It just
happens. We don’t have
a control over it. Sure,
to some extent we can
curb our feelings, but
we can’t contain it
inside ourselves
forever.
It’s not possible. But
then, maybe it’s not
love at all. It’s just a
feeling we people
mistake for love. At
the
end, it all comes down
to beauty, money, lust
or anything else. I don’t
think nowadays people
actually love a person
completely for who
they are. There are
other factors involved.
I
don’t think the love
where one can die for
the other exists
anymore—I just don’t.
Maybe I’m wrong, but
this is my opinion.
I, Alexandra Rogers do
not, and absolutely not,
believe in the concept
of
love. If this was a book
or a movie, maybe I
would have. Because
right now, the true kind
of love, and I mean the
real kind of love doesn’t
exists on earth. It’s
only
present in those
romantic novels and
movies, not in real life;
at least not when it
comes to teenagers, in
fact most of the
adults
too. Once in a while I
come across old
couples
and feel a small flicker
of hope in my heart.
You
see, seeing them gives
me hope. It gives me
hope about the
existence of love, the
true kind of love.
Not that I want to fall
in love. Sure I have one
of those days where I
see a couple and feel a
strange longing inside
my heart, and I want
to
experience, just for
once what it really
feels
like–those feelings
described in romantic
books and movies. The
people sound so happy.
Is it really all rainbows
and unicorns when it
comes to love? Even
the
mirror has a dark, black
side. Then why not
love? My friends, love
has a dark side too.
Love hurts—a lot.
There is no love
without pain, and hurt.
Love gives you tears,
heart-breaks and
everything in between.
It twists your soul and
crushes your heart until
you’re incapable of
feeling anything for
anyone. Love hurts. It
breaks you. It kills you
alive.
I wasn’t always like
this. There was a time
when I really believed in
this. Sure I was just a
kid, but I believed in
this
with my whole heart. I
used to look at mom
and dad and wish with
all my heart that I
would be blessed with
a
love like theirs. I
couldn’t
wait to grow up and
fall
in love. I can’t believe I
was that naive. But of
course, I don’t need to
tell you guys about
that. I mean you all
know what it’s like
growing up. The
thought of growing up
seemed so appealing,
so amazing. But of
course, now I know
the
reality—it sucks;
growing up sucks. But
that’s not in our control
now, is it? I guess I
would’ve continued
being that naive girl
who believed in the
concept of love with all
her heart if it hadn’t
been for dad and mom.
Their love, which I
thought was so
perfect, wasn’t perfect
at all. My dad had been
cheating on my mom
with his secretary,
who
might I mention was
half his age. Sounds
dramatic and movie-
ish,
doesn’t it? Well, it’s
true.
I remember the day
mom found out about
dad’s affair. No, she
didn’t catch him in the
act or whatever,
nothing dramatic like
that. Dad himself came
and told her the truth.
At least he had the
guts to do that. Dad
had come home from
office. Something
seemed amiss. I don’t
really know what, but
something was wrong.
There had been
something missing in
the way dad smiled at
mom and embraced
her.
Dad had hugged me
after that. But then, he
didn’t drink his tea like
usual. He told mom
there was something
he needed to talk to
her
about and both of
them
disappeared into their
bedroom. I retired to
my own room. I didn’t
think it would be
anything serious.
Parents talk all the
time, right? Of course
they do, but not
always
is the topic as serious
as it was today.
A half and a quarter of
an hour later, I could
hear voices from their
bedroom. I heard my
mom crying. Oh it was
so terrible, I will never
forget it, and then a
loud, ear deafening
bang. I rushed
downstairs and found
mom crying, sitting on
the living room sofa.
Her
hands wrapped around
herself in comfort. The
front door was ajar—
dad had gone—left us,
forever. He didn’t even
care to see me one last
time and say goodbye.
Because, honestly I
don’t think he cared.
And neither do I, At
least now I don’t. I
stopped caring a long
time ago. That day,
when I saw my mom’s
tear-stained face, I
realized one thing. Love
makes you vulnerable.
It weakens you,
softens you and
ultimately crushes you.
Soon after, they
decided to get divorced.
Dad had told mom how
he was in “love” with
Ashlyn, his secretary,
and that he wanted to
get married to her. A
couple of months later,
they succeeded in
getting their divorce.
Till
the time they were still
together, and appealing
at the court for
divorce,
dad didn’t live with us.
He was staying with
Ashlyn. Those few
months had been really
hard for me. At first, I
had no clue what was
going on. Mom just
wouldn’t tell me. I was
a confused nine year
old
child. I would wait up
late everyday for dad,
in
hopes he would come
back, he never did. He
never even called—
never. Sure he had his
problems with mom,
but he gave up on me
too. He’d promised to
always be there for
me,
but he failed to do that.
Not failed really, he
didn’t even try. He could
have, but he didn’t.
Of course I wished to
have a normal family.
But is wishing enough?
—No, of course not. So
I stopped wising too
and told mom that we
didn’t need him, that
we both together for
each other were all we
needed. But still, after
a
couple of years or so,
she started seeing
other men. I found this
completely atrocious!
Didn’t she remember
what all she had to go
through because of
dad?—All because she
was in love. If she
hadn’t been in love with
him, it wouldn’t have
hurt like it did. Their
bad
relationship is the main
reason why I stopped
believing in love. Seeing
dad with a new wife,
and mom with other
men, I realized they
never really loved each
other, it all was a lie.
And then the doubts
began. Does love even
exists? Maybe it’s just
an abstract idea, and
not a reality. Since
then,
I was never able to
believe in love, never.
What we see, what
people define ‘love’
isn’t
love, it’s just not.
Ever since dad left
mom
when I was just nine, I
completely lost my
trust over this. Like
every young girl I had
dreams about finding
my one true love, my
knight in shining armor.
But all of it was
shattered when reality
popped in, when I
realized it’s not how it
seems to be. It’s all
very different from
how the books and
movies show it. I
decided I won’t ever
risk falling in ‘love’ or
whatever it is if I can.
And that I’ll never trust
men. All of them are
the same. Maybe that’s
the reason I’ve never
been interested in
anyone.
But then there’s my
best friend Tia
Stewarts. If I hate
boys, she is boy-crazy.
The slightest thing
about them turns her
on, and I don’t even
understand why. Too
bad Tia isn’t the most
sought after girl in our
school. Honestly, I have
never had a crush on
any guy, while Tia has
an ever changing list.
But to be honest, only
once, just once, there
was this guy who
actually made my heart
skip a beat. He’s one of
those guys with those
amazing brown-blonde
hair and beautiful
greenish-blue eyes and
a sparkling smile which
make his eyes sparkle
too, and it gets the
girls
crazy—a lot.
It got me crazy too;
only once though. But I
changed my mind when
I found out about him.
He is the second
reason
except my dad due to
which I don’t trust
guys. He is a player and
girls for him are only
use and throw
material.
He uses them like
tissue papers and
throws them away
without a second look.
And it annoys me to
see all these girls still
drooling for him even if
they know what the
end will be like. He
would use them and
then throw them
away,
without even a
goodbye; and still they
get themselves into
that. Thank god, I’m
not like them and that
I
have the common
sense to decide what
is
right and what’s
wrong.
And the right thing to
do is to kick such a
guy’s Bottom instead
of
kissing him.
But we did talk.
Once
Okay, who am I
kidding!
Talk? It was more
than
that, much more than
that. I’ll never forget
that day, as if it was
just yesterday.
It was a normal day.
Stacey, the school
queen bee had
arranged
a party at her house
and she was inviting
everyone around saying
“coolest party of the
year at my house! Be
present you’re invited.”
Well, if she said it was
going to be a cool
party,
it would be. Stacey’s
awesome at throwing
parties, I’ll give her that
much. And so, Tia got
really excited. I mean
REALLY.
“Oh god Alex, we have
to go to this party!
What’s better than
beer
and boys?” (Let me
guess, nothing, as per
Tia’s point of view)
“But Tia…we haven’t
even been invited. And
honestly, I don’t think
we will. You know how
it’s like between us and
Stacey, right?” I argue
with her. It’s not that I
don’t like parties, I love
them. Well everything
about them except
people and their
disgusting PDA and
alcohol. I absolutely
love
dancing, what better
place than a party?
“But we can be invited,
right? Maybe Stacey
will
invite us? I mean it’ll be
so awesome!” she
starts giggling
excitedly.
“I think I’m gonna wear
that top, I brought last
week. You know the
one which was all
sparkly? It’ll finally
come
to some good use!” she
says with a smile
plastered on her face.
“U,m…Tia? I can’t really
come, you know?” I
say, interrupting her
blabber.
“But why?” she says,
her excitement
vanishing.
“I can’t come, I have
some work to
do” (work was only an
excuse. I didn’t feel like
partying this week)
“But you can’t miss it!
Besides I’ll totally get
bored without you!”
she
starts making this
puppy-dog face with
her continuous jabber
of
“Please…pretty please
with a cherry on the
top! Please!”
No…No…No…” I argue
back, shoving my
fingers in my ear and
acting like I can’t hear
anything as I start
walking off. We
continue our argument.
Unfortunately though,
Stacey hears Tia and
my conversation and
walks straight to us in
her six inch killer heels.
(Seriously, who wears
six inch heels to
school?) She tosses her
lustrous blond hair
behind her back and
says— “Tia darling,
what will you do at the
party? Because, people
won’t be interested in
you anyway, especially
the guys; they will
have
eyes on hot girls, like
me; unless of course,
they discover a new
interest in jokers.” She
says mockingly and
then starts laughing
(more like cackling!)
“That’s you” she adds.
My mouth drops open.
How dare Stacey insult
my friend? My fists
clench tightly. I so
want
to smack her with a
shovel right on the
face,
then she’ll know who’s
the joker here with
that
stuck up nose of hers
flat on her face.
“Anyway, you take the
invitations and see for
yourself—If guys look
at you or me.” she
challenges. She laughs
again (Dam!) and glares
at us one last time
before walking off,
swaying her hips.
Stacey is one of those
people who are alive on
this earth only because
it’s illegal to shoot
them. Imagine a cliché
high-school movie.
Then
imagine the head-
cheerleader with her
gorgeous blond mane
and beautiful blue eyes.
Add the perfect size-
zero figure and a
model-
like statuesque and
you
have Stacey Stewart.
I’m not even kidding;
one look at her and you
can’t help feeling
jealous
if you’re a girl, or
probably fall head over
heels if you’re a boy.
Well, that would be
your
first impression of her.
Later on you would
realize what a
complete
Dam she can be. I
wonder how her
friends
are able to bear with
her. She’s that
annoying.
Now I know that is
completely mean of me
to say, but I’m being
honest here.
As I see Stacey
walking
away, I get ready to
pounce on her. But Tia
unfortunately stops
me
in time. “Hey, let it be,
okay? You don’t need
to
stoop to her level. She
doesn’t deserve your
time and attention.
Sorry, I was acting like
a complete a few
minutes back. Besides,
who cares? It’s just a
silly party. We won’t
be going anyway” Tia
mumbles the last part.
She is trying to act all
tough, but who is she
kidding?
“Who said we aren’t
going?” I say after a
slight pause.
“So we are..?” she says
skeptically.
“Of course!” I smile
knowingly and wink at
her.
“Oh my gosh! Yay!
But…you’re up to
something, aren’t you?”
“You’ve got to wait and
watch. We’re going to
her party tonight and
she’s gonna wish she
never invited us in the
first place.”
And from this instant,
my life changes. I mean
it isn’t a huge change.
But a change alright. I
decide to attend this
party. The coolest
party
of the year. The party
where I’ll end up
meeting Mr. Player.
And I wish I had never
attended this party.